Day Two

Slept most of the day. Got out to store at midnight.

Just making a perfunctory entry. Very bored.

Some, not much, online activity. Good enough.

Find myself wishing for companionship mostly.

Day One

Quarantine. Corona virus. COVID-19. Upon us.

There's a silly argument going on as to whether it should be termed Wuhan virus. Castigations of racism. Absurd.

Things are very serious and I am staying home; for most part. Went out briefly for bay leaf for my corner breed in the crock pot. Might even take a ride into boonies tomorrow.

Presented is my survival rate of last resort. 😆 Need some banana! Pretty well stocked up. The grocery stores are stressed more than anything. Toilet paper the notorious item in demand. 

I think of the family. They haven't checked on me and what am I to do, having been ostracized? What a sorry situation.

Oh... happy St. Patrick's Day. Made delicious corned beef with the trimmings. Really good and plenty full.

So, the day done. Miss the amenities of getting out; spa closed, avoiding crowds. Fifteen days of this ahead.

Picking Up

Spent the day cleaning the kitchen. Somewhat. Get reorganized. Thought a lot about THE LIST. If all the stuff I need to do. Move from the kitchen to family room? I've been neglectful. 

Magnificent storm the other day. This the day after, the air thoroughly cleaned. Dreamy Draw. Ah, me and my dreams for the house. Thoroughly disappointed. But still. Have to live there. 

One of the things on the list is a prescription refill. Awkward. Blood pressure medication; I've been neglectful. Thought to write the doctor a note. Can I do that here? 

Dear Doctor: I've been neglectful. Because I inconsistently take my medication without ever checking my blood pressure, believe it or not I've only just run out. Please don't think me a bad patient, though I am. There's some despondency involved insofar as being acutely interested in my well being. My cop out is that no one cares about me; why ought I? Yes, plain carelessness. 

My life has been somewhat of a disappointment. Meeting goals more like imagining them and no fulfillment. But I'm aware of the process. I just minimalize the effort and am a procrastinator. I make lists. Written and mental. Haphazard completion record. Coming to see you has been on a list for some time. Childishly,  I think I'm be scolded. Or dropped for non-compliance. There was some depression last year but better now. Not too manic. My life is much less stressful not working. (So many triggers to go off behaviorally in dealing with public. Paranoia too.) Sorry, but I've gotten complacent coasting along on my Social Security.

Please, let's do the refill and get me baselines again. I figure you will order lab tests. I have been warned about kidney function and there's another aspect of staying out of touch... I don't want to know. I will try to be more compliant.

Losing weight and quitting smoking ever in the list too. Utter failure. I feel fine except for the body awareness and strain of carrying the extra weight. I weigh more than I ever have. To tell you the truth, in my budget I don't eat out and very much enjoy cooking. Too much. Very little exercise. That for me is soaking in the hot tub and doing range of motion. Staying lumber is all I do toward staying alive.

In making this declaration to you, I recommit to complete the things on the list, seeking some raison d'être. I went back to church a couple of months ago. None of my clothes fit! I bought some new and some the next size down toward motivation. I gave up a month ago and have not been going. Some despondency as mentioned. I aim to get fit and fit into the trousers. 

Withal COVID-19 perhaps that's advisable. I know I am much at risk and can only take it from here and hope for the best. The circumstance has engendered feelings of mortality I never felt in my history of adolescent invulnerability. Your understanding is appreciated.

There. Done. At Lux coffee. Having a Benedictine. About to go home. Made three bean soup the other day. Feel alright. 

Live in Hope

Has been raining all week. Roof a shamble. Needs replacement.

I live like a spider, catch as catch can. Challenging shot. Amen.

Society Beckons

Been a while since here. Lux has moved next door. Very nice place, insofar as instant coffee places go. Nighttime crowd pretty good. A wine bar as well.

Just getting familiar still with Kindle pad. Photo apps. The above is great - but they really let you know who owns it! Below done after ride to Tonto Basin. Four Peaks. I cropped the proprietary glyph.

Got somewhat dressed up. All my clothes too small. Terrible. Instead of just shooting the picture, walk!!!

Yes, Virginia - There is a Tonto

Again, a while since posting, Facebook and Twitter canalizing all energy. Same old, same old for the most part. The online relationship mentioned went kerblooie. She asked for money. Beautiful woman. Pathetic. Cut it off immediately.

That was something I should have done with my ex-wife instead of pleading to keep at the relationship. Relations... ha... she was fucking around and I still held out... hope. Pathetic. And she had nothing but contempt for me doing so. I wept. Yeah, should have terminated at first instance of disloyalty. There were several wreckers. To hell with them too. Had I cut it off, I might have been more focused about my well, and better, being.

Still haven't met the love of my life! In a circadian adjustment presently. Overnight activity. Not much happening at Denny's. The big event of the day the senior discount at the grocery store. Otherwise, I've got everything I need. Oh, yeah.

Took a ride last week. Superstitions. Into Tonto National Forest. Canyon Lake. Tortilla Flat. Real nice. Above is part of Tonto Basin. Wilderness between the Mazatzals and Superstitions. Would be something to hike in and camp. Some goal there. Lone Ranger indeed. Not up to it presently.

Have stopped going to church. Couldn't meet the goals I set thereby: quit smoking and lose some weight. I bought some dress slacks online in the next size down. Haven't even tried them on; know they'll be too tight. Despondent. The church I was attending was not a very enthusiastic place. Have an idea to go back to First Christian. We'll see.
                                                               

Take a Walk

Long time no post. Presently waiting on download.

Must there be something to say, not already said?

Twitter and Facebook have canalized most of that energy.

I am well but getting old. Not cranky but creaky. Graceful.