Dress Up?

The odd view from Luci's before heading over to Fiddler's Dream. Sunset.

Having made the choice to go there rather than watch football, looking forward to taking some more shots of the mountain before dark. Then? Was surprised on previous occasions to see light on the trail well after dark. Thought the park closed at 7 pm but asked someone at the venue and they said not until 10. Further surprised as it's a stoney trail with many a misstep; explains the helicopters I've seen up there at night as well.

Wish I had some company but that's the way it goes. Yes, of course thinking of Francesca. I think she'd like it. Maybe I shouldn't think that. Were she interested she'd have called me after I gave my number - that seemed to be gamed too. Why people can't be responsive beyond me. Is it too much to expect, one way or the other? Disrespect. I don't know what to do to establish real communication; the obtuse has jaded me no end.

Bogey

It's almost time for church but I don't know where to go. Thought about First Assembly.
Then again, after a brief excursion, might like to simply settle in and catch up on things.

Got movies in hopper and some business matters to clear and close. Property tax due! Other bills to pay; haven't been paying much attention the past few weeks. Preoccupied.

Went for a ride replicating a way back to the group home from Perry Center. Notations. Mental notes, shots. A few. Rarely stopped for quick one, always expeditious. Get home!

Coming over the Thunderbird rise westbound, a view to the northwest. Arrowhead area. Somewhat hazy this afternoon. Don't remind us there were no domiciles! Tangles.

For those who golf, the terrain agreeable to a challenging round. I could go for it, maybe. It's such a process. Secure gear, go to the range. Get your bearings. Relax. Blast!!!

Solar challenge as well. Let it cool off more; slacks and sleeves. We'll see. Good walks.
Is it merely mirage before desperation of breaking par achieved? Wouldn't worry, really.

Heavenly Father: We thank You for a fine day after a splendid evening in good cheer. You're so benevolent and thanks too for the healings. Several come to mind. Some concern about specific health issues resolving. Lord, be with all Your people as they gather. Help me to sort things out and give way to ease where there was need and stress. Be with Francesca and her family and bless them with a nice wedding celebration. Be with her sister in her recovery from childbirth and may the babies thrive. Not much my business, but she mentions it and her enthusiasm is contagious. Forgive me for my ineptitude and the carelessness causing some infeasibility with regard to happy society with her.  I ask this in Jesus' name; amen. 

We'll Be There

Up; seeing events forgotten in Texas. Political posturing over the bayous.
The Rivers Brazos, Sabine, Trinity overwhelmed. One huge sump. Devastation.
Will take time for to drain, recover remains, mop up. Did they belong there?
800 years a very brief moment in time for studied old saints. Do what we can.

Quite all forgotten last night. Fond embrace. Awfully diligent, she. Tacit.
Just a few private assertions. Subtle public announcements. Hold off on gooeyitus.
Going to be very difficult but we'll be fine. Copacetic, as they say. What a treatment!
Maybe more difficult amidst other womens but she knows now; not in gazillion years.

Plate: Nicolas Poussin: Paysage avec Orphée et Eurydice.

Biding Time

Would have liked to have gotten out of town for the duration of torridity.
And, with this hurricane, there's the possibility of joining a crew. Like to.
But no one to watch the house nor water. The roof needs close attention.
Slowly drifting back to nocturnal hours; so hot and traffic during day.

Don't know whether Francesca will be on tonight. Something she said threw me.
As if I'm going to take notes, keeping up with the staccato impartation.
Close attention? How gauche! Irresistible forces; immovable whatchamacallit.
Never any opportunity for 'frank' discussion. Uncoordinated fracus; maddening.

Que Sera

Upon awakening after reading and sleeping, thought it would be 'brave' of me to go for coffee with Francesca despite all the humiliation and continuing contempt. What were the alternatives? Go to strangers? What is the problem? Why is there this convolution? I've gotten so weary of the estrangement derived of role playing based on employment. "What do you do?" What indeed.

It was alright until having lunch. Big bruiser gave me a headache. She winked and I'm thinking of Cary Grant faking his demise for to motivate Victor McLaughlin to let them have it. What would Dr. Zorba say? She would have made a fantastic RN, I think, along the lines of those I've known. You easily fall into that "Why not an MD?" sexist political (Is it gender now?) mind bending; so tired of that too. What do they know? To be with people in despair, in pain, in their cups! Result: contempt!

And the hurtful all the time. I will stay with her and see how it will be. I am confused.
God help us. What to make of just being there, needing human contact?

Finishing the day seeing this neglect.
When will justice done for the negligence experienced?
It's all so very strange and I did my best to make them happy.
Why no love and respect problematic. Gave them a good "That's a wrap."

Act Your Age

Since there isn't going to be any promenading
with Francesca, time to retire the subject. Hmm.

Good to have this outlet for to express not 
frustration (Get lost.) but chagrin. Emenies!

Holding Weather Gage

As good a commentary on retirement as comes to mind. Broken up for furniture.
Arts and Crafts Movement hadn't shown up yet. You've got to figure a lot of bedsteads.
Unaware of anything of any significance going on. It's freezing at Luci's. Maybe later?
How can I possibly listen to Rocket 88's session now? No. For the best, I should think.

Should go home, clear off back patio for woodworking. Several projects in the works.
Hold on... it's Sunday; I'm leaving town. Why bother? Don't feel like bothering anything.
Full still from late night binge eat, which is what I do when things just 'don't work out'.
Don't care for that term... usually employed by people who blame others for SNAFU.

In all mercy, she could be captive to a predator after whatever 'issues' she's had.
You hear all sorts of stories but rarely any taking of responsibility. Par for course.
Had I a 'right to know' or should I have interrogated? Come on. She certainly did.
Over the top, she was. Given no heads up, sadism only explanation. I warned her.

Plate: The Fighting Temeraire tugged to her last berth to be broken up, J.M.W. Turner 1838 

Call Maintenance

Suppose I'm working things out. Bit of a shock to the system. No sanction!
That's the sort of circumstance it is; you believe God brings youse together...
unconditional love and all that... but they want unconditional sanction. No way.
Won't be part of it. Most secure in that mode. She'd ample opportunity to square it.

One other thing - won't have to spend any more money courting her. A waste.
Good Scotch doesn't come cheap and I figure I've had my last drink for a while.
There we go, already a benefit from extrication in the face of show biz phenomena.
Said she was a 'professional drinker' and the regulars were degenerates. Case closed.

Fire Exit

Well, I never. Can't stand her now.
The thin line crossed, never to return.

She thought it 'funny', as sadists do. Rank.
Asked to dine with friend, nothing but insult.

Didn't set clock for snooty Quakers. Slept through. Good.
Frankly, no go zone! They're compromised. Stupid. Informers.

These lousy people use public policy and fantasy to impose upon
our good people private debauchery, destroying the species. Really.

Epic Snooze

Like that. You think someone's your Penelope.
(Not exactly common experience.) Silly sireens!

Then not so funny dyke deceiving. Don't want
a thing from her. Doomed. Not my problem.

"The Oddessy" so high school. Loved it good.
Not in curriculum. Very independent. Amen.

Bubbles Burstink

Glad the spa available overnight. Nice tub. 
Some steam. Sauna. Finnish heart attack.
Float upon the water; weightless. Cured.
I told her schizophrenic matter. No response.

Did not tell her I was always faithful to my
ex-wife and that it was she who fractured my
exquisite mind in conjunction with other 
evil, flim-flamming girls. Who needs them?

They can't be depended upon nor trusted.
So... be one of the boys. They're pathetic.
Oh, so very glad to get out of that hellhole.
A tragedy that neighborhoods perverted so.

All a game to her. Over and over - "I'm 45."
What I heard was "I'm 45 still playing at this.
I should be home with my family." Really.
Too bad. Chance encounter. Full circle. Yuck.

Fair Use

May well have gotten the picture. Repugnant?
Not really. In a sense I'm relieved. Bizarre.

Milady's got a husband. Guessing game over.
I come out of it smelling like roses. Drop it.

When at Meeting tomorrow (even now) I'll
bear in mind the love I had in my heart.All so arcane and privy, the matters therein;
nothing to do but another coup. No sweat.

Briefed

Why are females addressed as guys?
It is a wholey whacked world, I suppose.

They wish to compete? They can have it.
I'm getting off soon. No turning back. Adios.

Simple Tip

The sequence of events lost in time, there was a period when I'd visit a local pub for to watch a sporting event and say hello to an old friend from Red Hook, Brooklyn. Disengaged from the goings on, satisfied just to sit, relax and talk. There was a bartender there. One of the few not especially in one's face and, I thought, very diligent. I told my friend I liked her. That was years ago.

After another period of not going out much, working full time in the evenings and not particularly interested in sports, I stopped back in that place. She said she hadn't seen me in a while. This was indeed the case, but how and why would she notice or concern herself? Hmm. Along about the same time, I'd scheduled a week's vacation. Deciding not to travel but to take in some entertainment events locally, I proceeded to pick up a pair of tickets for a Rachmaninoff piano concerto at Symphony Hall. I thought to ask her but couldn't. (The entire sucker scenario ensued.) Having no one else in mind, I asked around to find a date, so to speak, but was unsuccessful.

I went down to the concert on the day scheduled and tried to sell the tickets outside. No takers. A total bummer of an experience but somehow I was nonplussed. Shined it on. Have the tickets as a memory of how badly this town sucks. How ridiculous it has been dealing with women, their heads up their arses. How much I'd like to leave.

Going back to the pub, she had an altercation to deal with while I stood by. I told the cook she needed back-up. He looked like he didn't want to get involved. I stood by. She handled it OK, I suppose, but there you are. I stood by. So I got a little more attached to her.

I'd left my employ. I had more time on my hands and thought I'd watch more baseball, take in the season; something I hadn't done since 2001. More frequently to that pub. Not a drinker, not attached except for my friend and she now. I gave her a tip of a picture of Four Peaks... the beer; get it? Well, shit hit fan. I figure one of the flunkies there was banging her. Confrontation ensued. The stupid people there wouldn't put the Rangers on during the Stanley Cup playoffs! How low do they get? I'll never go back.

But not before a splendid spread. We can't talk about it.
Subsequently went catty-corner. Met Francesca. Nothing but trouble.
Presently awaiting this picture's processing into something painterly.
Ha... I'm not an artist. I'm a bleedin' processor. "Putting on airs, are we?"

Thought I'd take a ride up past Carefree and take another shot of the sunrise behind the same peaks. Then thought better of it, better to use the time and do some chores. Yeah, things to do and clutter to clear. Hopefully get a nap and be marginally alert while with her. Terribly awkward situation, but understandable. I just wanted to go to that concert and all I wanted was to ask Francesca out to have dinner with another friend and her husband. I do not need these complications but people are that indeed.

Complicated Matters

Credentials a function of veracity, there's a deficit of believability about. Chatting up an imbiber on her patio, he was full of complaint about the Donald, for whom he had voted. Said he'd had the same experience with Obama. Disatisfaction soon after their assumption, the power remaining with the elites. Of course he's sipping on his beer as he goes on to describe the President as a buffoon, simultaneously to, in other places, elites in their turn making moves - usually sober.

What's to make of it? It's a ridiculous situation, surely. I say they can run things however they wish. I am fortunate. I am not a slave. No reason to anesthetize myself. 

Contemplating going to see Francesca this evening, I'm reminded of my first kiss. In a gazebo of sorts. In a courtyard of an apartment quad. Took me by surprise. Slathered it on, she did. Fourteen and a bit much, really. It was a long walk home and, frankly, I thought it was silly. She called it 'kissy face' and it wasn't satisfactory, to say the least. Who needs that? The more important thing was to stick with the program and get educated proper. Probably had a basketball game first thing in the morning.

Years later, met another woman who told me (upon a minimum of Homer and Edith Hamilton) that the Greeks took the boys away from the women at age 7 or so. The reputed age of reason. Telling. Later yet, no problem melding - for the most part. But the matter of credentials remains; otherwise a crackpot, eh? Or self-ordained whatever. One does what one can and moves along.

Socks No Problem

Feeling very limber indeed. Down to 240# from 290# in April. 
Get past 220#  and perhaps to 200# and some definition. Buffo.
Beginning to be able to wear cloths haven't worn in long time.
I remember huffing and puffing getting socks on! That's disgraceful.

Today did most extensive workout yet. Walk and hour. Swim half hour.
All joints feeling fine. Think I'll get some glucosamine and fish oil though.
Haven't attempted dumb bells yet. That was the limit before. No more bar bells.
Am beginning to see abdominal muscle! Don't think six-pack but you never know.

Rare Form

One of few of hers not herself. Ai-yi-yi.
I like Frida but she seems self-obsessed.
Often unable to get out; often bed-ridden.
Iconic disformative action? Trotsy's girl.

Anyway, I like this a lot. Scroll on. Great.
We've not spoken of such, milady and I.
I figure she's at least seen the pieces
at The Bellagio. Waterworks and Chihuly!

Have wanted for some time to take a ride.
A long one, considering constraints, to Taos.
Go see the O'Keefe pieces. All sorts of projection!
And ridiculous to the studied eye, I should think.

Maybe

I've got it! Since Francesa's unwilling to have moussaka with me (not that she turned me down but seems to like keeping me up in the air) how can she deny Ballet Folklorico? Tlaquepaque in Sedona. Coming up early next month. Will have to be very patient as she seems to be weighing the consequences. I mean, who wants to get involved with the NOTORIOUS DITZ? Told her it was because of always thinking of where I was headed next, always in a rush. Time management? Ugh. Did not mention how lately, how ever since we met I think of her almost all my waking hours. I do sleep pretty good. Then wake up... thinking of her. Is it just an abhorrent circumstance?

One morning I was sitting with one of her colleagues chatting about aspects of the business, the T&A circus. I'd only been to one in my life. After a marketing class at Glendale Community. Place was across Olive. Driving home, detoured. Went in and melded in a quiet room except for the rocking about. An woman approached and asked if I wanted a lap dance. Nope. Don't recall if I bought her a drink (I think you can't do that here.) but we did talk a little because she was English and I said she sounded Midlands. She was sweet but couldn't waste time with me. I left soon after and of course, although my interest piqued, I didn't stick around outside to ascertain whether an assignation was possible, relating as we had. Hey... no schmuck moi, right?

This is become a major 'issue' with milady.
Pub Rules: 1) Bring money 🙈  2) Friendly sex, politicks and theogistics 🙉
Last, but not least 3) Only a schmuck falls for staff 🙊  Be nice and tacit.

I must confess, two out of three ain't bad. Went on to tell the woman with Francesca, after she said booze knocks her out, that I read myself to sleep. Usually. Sometimes I'll imagine something akin to counting sheep. Like driving a destroyer in the North Atlantic on convoy duty. Then getting a brand new one in Mobile and transiting the canal, headed for the South Pacific. The course of those events. Then off Okinawa - kamikazes. I am killed. I sleep.

Won't see her again until Saturday. If they do Behaviorism 301 trivia, I am cooked.
Didn't get that far. It was always most friendly. No rough stuff ever. Even when asked.

So, humor only goes so far. She wore a some sort of a skull embossed top one evening. Truly, I was going out of my skull. Can't recall the sequence but it was mentally quite rough. A brief conversation where, somehow, penis envy was interjected. Huh? Did not see it germane to the chit-chat. Some other assertions and combined with the theater previously experienced... ready to jump on her. So I go sit down away from her. Have dinner. She never came over and plainly spoke to me. What is going on?

Deciding to leave, I passed her as she was chatting up some musicians. I was livid. Said she was a sadist. Setting me up; disappointed. Later for you! But she, as I passed, said, "Good night, my love." I felt terrible afterwards. Still not over it. Is she for real or just playing me. I just don't know and she is being very cagey. Encouraging, but wary I surmise. That situation very awkward is understatement. Just doing her job.

Tempestuous Times

It's a matter of dispute. Jesus died for all our sins once and forever. Be crucified with Him, thank and praise Him for the favor, be saved eternally. Some would have God endlessly punish for one's sins. Sometimes I think it's they who wish to punish; for having been wronged, perhaps, or, in adversity, see you suffer for being wrong with regard to the disputation. Who needs this?

Long time ago had discussion with RC priest about this. He happened to be a former Naval chaplain so I gave him creedance. He said, more or less, to fear such awareness of eternity. I think he meant it in the context of being trained to handle it. Not something to be taken lightly. Like fearing a live wire.

Another one, years later, said that 'Protestants' were obsessed with sin. He seemed angry about that. Considering the premise, I've go to disagree. Nor have I any protest about them. Others, better trained, might dispute this. The Bible makes no such provision for factions.

All I can surmise is if we live gratefully and peacefully saved, there's no need to dredge all this up. But faced with a need to make onself clear and committed, how to testify something of a challenge. One runs into all sorts of pagan dynamics. "Whom the gods would destroy, they make mad." That sort of thing. The real thing is to talk it through in fellowship. That is a very rare thing in the competitive, phobic and status-conscious world we live in. Relaxed atmosphere required for dialogue.

Please God we ride out the storm.

Her Place

So what to do until Saturday when I see her again? Eat, read, sleep... process?
We got into conversation about housekeeping. Said I was lackadaisical. Even worse!
I had plans, I did. They all fell through. I gave up. I didn't care. Eat, read, sleep.
The house not a home but a bivouac. But I had so many plans. I really did. Entropy.

Watching and waiting. Sigh. We do, I think, trust it'll all come together somehow.

Quite the Supposition

Keeping brief on account time to turn in, has dust settled, milady? Explanations?
Don't much go for romance. (Complications and fudging so's to bamboozle.) Yeow.
Nonetheless, there comes a reason... she deserves good enough? Not pity but OK.
Agreement when in the way; yet the stress can flummox - one forgets the words.

So, nothing to say but to do. Ha; do me favor, please. Warm up some mugs for us.
I wouldn't be caught dead drinking anything infused. (What? Tincture of Ceylon?)
Oh, it's all changed, Sri Sundari. I'll bring a pot and some Darjeeling. You'll see.
We'll generate some overt wazzup. Nothing like little court intrigue towards bliss.

Hoot On

When cooled off somewhat, this is great idea near the activity center. Don't think we'll need to do Baywatch scene. Nope. Better off with this crowd. Better bare, huh?

Wonderful memories of morning sessions, learning rotation, teamwork and spiking.
The best, however, was to get under it and keep the ball in play. Two more chances.

At Ease

What's the essence of the Blues but I'm alright, things ain't.
One needn't go to the Delta to pick up on that. Nor Chicago.
It goes electric, transmitted, mixed... no problem. (Yeah, right.)
Things not like used to be, whole lot shaking. Er, hit the books.

Great find in park. Good fix for straw fedora. Already beaded.
Pretty much woke up and raring to go. Maybe do laundry? Have to.
Somewhere under something else is shoes. Always a chore to find pair.
Seriously - old pebble-grain Skechers; right one's missing. Which closet?

Eclipsed, Of Course

A change came over me. Over the anger. Anger of long time standing. Not the place.
I sat at a picnic table at a park. Felt lucky to get a few good shots of birds flitting by.
I'd felt so lucky to have met Francesca but have gotten confused. And too attached.
With a void in my life in this regard, understandable, but not completely appropriate.

We watched the partial eclipse today. A coincidence. Nothing cosmic, right? Right.
She was exited. I enjoyed her enthusiasm more than the event itself! Precious.
Some droll humor about primitives and the end of the world. Recall of "Longitude".
Mention of the Magi. Chaldean astronomers. And a moment not imparted. Too much.

That's just it. Inserting someone into your own 'idea of reference'... delusion.
A matter of fact where there is no substantial relationship. Ours is fleeting.
A business transaction, drama part of deal. It was understood; nothing personal.
But there is no other person in my life, nor anyone so interesting and vivacious as she.

What a case we are in. Comic relief? How to impart? How to be? How to feel OK?

It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; but 

it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue. If it 

be true that good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good play 

needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use good bushes; and 

good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. 

What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue, nor cannot 

insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play! I am not 

furnish'd like a beggar; therefore to beg will not become me. My 

way is to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I charge 

you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of 

this play as please you; and I charge you, O men, for the love 

you bear to women- as I perceive by your simp'ring none of you 

hates them- that between you and the women the play may please.

If I were a woman, I would kiss as many of you as had beards that 

pleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths that I defied not; 

and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet
breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.

As You Like it - Epilogue

Well, took a shot of the phenomenon in the sky. Not equipped for 'perfection', eh?

Nor are we perfect. Nor could I to provide for her as I'd like. Ugh; deluded?
Yet the Good Lord works in mysterious ways, they say. Dear Lord, see me through.
So many patients I've had in so much turmoil. All I could say was God will provide.
Again, don't want to make too much of a pleasantly amicable circumstance. Keep it.

Monday

The locations I won't go back to are mounting. Lousy people; service insignificant.
Hope that when I get to wherever I go in Oregon I find a nice, sedate coffee place.
I do recall one here. Went quite Goth or something. A barista turned real ugly.
I'd mentioned to the chief grinder that I thought she was 'good' on account of diligence.
Couldn't have been more wrong. Real evil woman. Totally bent. Purveyor to boot.

Such a hoot, sibling rivalry. They don't respect; they won't; they can't. They compete.
Hence they must destroy. What other option have they in the dog eat dog environs?
Can't wait to be far away from their despicablity and treachery. Very stupid children.
When I came here, I think I might have 'stole their thunder' had they any. Cowards.
Recall again, asking my brother's help with furniture move. Utter resentment. Adios.

Will be awfully good escaping this sadistic jurisdiction. And to think, I encouraged him.
Nothing to be done about it, the well poisoned long ago. Whiners. So glad to be saved.
Feel bad about Francesca. We could have had so much fun. Always creeps ruining it.
There was a woman stoking a flame war on my high school alumni site. Reprehensible.
She said she 'despised' G.W. Bush. Other idiot looped "Shrub". Creeps inescapable!

So, what to do? Well, goes way back. Report them. (Lock them up.) Don't be afraid.
Met another woman who head tripped me. Confessed all sorts of idiocy. Took in stride.
Related old New Yorker cartoon: guy on couch, shrink alongside on piano. Too much!
And Dr. Hyde; "Not too much." Ripped apart? All for naught? She asks me to Scotland!
Report her to her father. She lied! (Said she lied all the time.) Should've known better.

Going to Mattresses

Well, Francesca's hooked up with the Castratory Faction. Betrayed and betrayed.
No way they're going to mess up my life. Wait... there's more; won't betray her.
She couldn't give a simple response to a simple request. Of course, I found an out.
The only thing about cashing in here is that I won't get full value; trade off. OK.

I'd stopped into the Buffalo Exchange just to look around. Find something nice.
Cushy cap! Great deal on enamel pin. Voila. Done in a heartbeat. Went for coffee.
Just south of the pornosnoots. Pretty good engagement of enemy; say so myself.
Hasn't she gotten clue yet?!! Yeah, I'm pulling up stakes. Won't be sleeping in rain.

So, so angry (Good thing no raunchy trivia.) after her unresponsiveness last night.
What was worse was her condescending insult: "Stay out of trouble." What cheek.
Forgot all about cap. Forgot the whole shebang. Remembered to go to tub and chill.
Blew it all off, recalling the gift in the truck. Went back. No affection whatsoever.

So she is a phony after all. Ridiculous come ons. Over the top. Practiced, for sure.
Too mad, I thought, to go to Meeting in morning. Had a sandwich. Invaded Sicily.
Fell asleep soon after, waking up with plenty of time to get to meeting house. OK.
Got settled down and felt much better. Watched hummingbirds flitter. No music.

Overcast this morning. Thought it all through, as best I could. Mind making up.
Had contemplated Coos Bay environs (Peace and quiet paramount.) but led elsewhere.
A destination! This will help motivate to get things wrapped up on this bonker slab.
Sick and tired of all the sabotage. They want a war... they got it. Dust off my feet.

Afterwards, went to Luci's. Had a scone. Further informed about Jerry Lewis.
Amused to see he made movie with Johnny Depp, "Arizona Dream". Way cool.
Going home soon, back to bed! Something to watch later. Forget them all.
Not going back to the bar. Not taking it anymore. Awfully dirty dealers. Quashed.

5 Alarm

Waiting on a cup of coffee in a gin mill is a bear and a half.
Just wanted to pull in to process some shots and get going after nap.
Headed for the Fiddler Domain; no prospect of any trouble ahead.
Waiting on java starting to make me wonder when they'll wake up.

Got crosstown in sort of a jiffy. Real nice lady already underweigh.
Very intimate presentation; first time before audience. Hubby there.
Headliners - Acoustic Outcasts, sounded great. Did "Rocky Top".
Funny to me cause the MC old boys get bent out of shape over CW.

Wheel Lock

It was an odd day yesterday, not knowing when I'll see Francesca again nor if we can get together over moussaka. I've taken out from The Golden Greek for years and have gotten most friendly with the chef who visits the 16th and Bethany Starbucks patio after work. I think we'd have a great time. I think I'll see her Saturday. I hope so.

Stopped for a moment. This odd shot. Had gotten bottle of Irish Cream to put in coffee. How do I love thee? Just humming along until I firm up matters. I'm all wet! Well, slightly. Certainly nothing to write home about.

Good workout. Feeling fine. Odd too that I'm all flummoxed around her but goodly stable with her. We do need direct relations, I surmise, to be in harmony. When I have to go askew to give her backround information, things get confused. I want to tell her everything but know it has to go slow. She's brimful of experiences and seems willing to relate them. I believe we can help each other be superb. 

This is where it's at, milady.

But puddles can be fun, just as well.

How Lovely Indeed

With a to-do list from here to Tucson, was happy to have some time to re-do above. Taken from the I-10 shoulder south of Picacho Peak after a radiator rupture heading to Catalinas. Proverbial best of bad situation as I waited for AAA service. They towed me back to the base of Picacho - I'd just stopped nearby for a pop. Waited a while for the report. Late afternoon. Could I get back on the road and make camp before sundown?

Nope. Couldn't get a replacement radiator until morning and too far gone for safe addition of the sealing solutions, as if they'd work with so much plastic involved. So, got transported by station owner to motel for overnight. Catalina trek falling by wayside. Fairly decent accommodations but absolutely nothing going on in Arizola.

Did get going again later the next morning for cityscaping. I lost interest rather quickly and headed home a day earlier than planned. That budget was shot is understatement.

Upon looking at the photos, liked this a lot. But a buggaboo! Caught in one of the creosotes was a white critter! I jest... grocery bag. Not so bad considering turtles and other living creatures getting strangled by them. Hey; I use them all the time but dispose of them in the recycle bin where they can be used for baby bottles, right?

Anyway, a fix-up with Francesca. (Airbrushed the offending debris.) We're communicating fairly well, war stories and all. She gave me a good one. Has to do more mopping up! We'll see what we can't do about that. There's a fellow frequents the hideout with much industrial hygienic experience. He might have a lead on a scooting floor mini-squeegee appuratumente. See them in other busy stores. She has to put up with a lot of impossible stuff, but gets it done good. I've loved her a while but last night I got to really like her since I had to get over anger about phonies and you never know. We'll see how it goes but I wouldn't bet the farm.

Heavenly Father: We thank You for such a blessing of such a friend. Be with her in all the frays of the circumstance and help her cope well, well, in the well. No joke, Lord... please protect her and strengthen her to carry on in sometimes difficult circumstances. Support her in her endeavors and help me to be a fair and honest colleague as we grow closer and take things as they come by dint of Your will of us. We ask this in Jesus' name and hold You up as the Author of our encounter. Amen.   

Up the Philanderin' Wazoo

Had just a few moments with Francesca.
Upon a medicinal brandy, upon small thought,
recalled waiting for bus IFO pharmacy window.
With Michael on the patio, we was, commiseratin'. 

There were advertisment posters illustrating
history of medicine. This fellow in particular.
There were several, enough to last in the
awfully cold wind chill, the concrete moreso.

Going back so far, one gets flummoxed.
Not Joseph! Joseph Banks is botany! Yeah.
It didn't matter. She was happy to serve me.
Hence I got to talking cure with other friend.

So, present minded, searched for those
old posters. They're proprietary mostly;
it's all for sale. But this popped up first thing.
Didn't go further. Lovely, no? Via Walmart.

What we have here is a crisis of possession.
Clearly in public domain. They ought to stay.
Mean old curs, they are. Think they own us.
Sorry, don't need a thing save for whatever.

Get rid of them, please. Eternal arsonists.
They, in cahoots with those bastard neo-
nut jobs, have pretty much ruined the nation.
Legacies of ruination, leading nowhere fast.

Were she interested, she'd talk to me. Really.
But it rather seems to be a competition. Ugh.
Otherwise, we speak of Zucker, Kristol and Brooks, et al.
General hoot seein' 'news' presently. Out of their tree!

Well Earned Rest

A good day to the last crunch.
"Don't push her away and be gentle.
One way or another it'll all work out."
Couldn't agree more. Will watch Ps&Qs.

Although deeply imprinted by Cure,
must say not attached to Goths a'tall.
Hope she doesn't mind (nor artist) that
this' got a lot more finish and panache.

How to articulate she's sort of a muse?
Then again, that's all somewhat cliche.
A motivator, perhaps. I don't know. Hmm.
Someone to please and comfort... gently.

Tedium Yet School Too

Taking a break from processing Pioneer photos. Humoring myself through.

Shot here from file. I used to visit with one of the fellows at group home.

We'd watch the athletes on the Moon Valley campus. Take walks when cool.

At night, all lit up, we could hear the crowd at football games. Let's hear it!!!

Fraternization Issue

Upon experiencing passive aggressives' provocations, I said something to management then had myself a brandy and coffee. Settled down. At first, my ears bleed - then someone approached and put it in my face. Told him to take it outside but the idiot was obviously getting off on it. I survived.

But decided to have one.
Something of a memory.
Too many lousy memories.
No need for that!

Once, out on a date, going to Manhattan from Queens on the El, my girlfriend and I transferred from the IRT to the BMT at Queens Plaza. It was winter and she was wearing a white rabbit cover accessorized by a hand muff same matter. I don't recall what I had on but did have a brown corduroy car coat at the time. Fellows never wore hats then - unless way below freezing; balaclavas!

As we stepped onto the train car, there they were. I'd say there were five teachers from the high school we attended. Christian Brothers. They never said hello. They just stared a bit and then looked away. One of them, who's class I had attended, did make eye contact. He looked contemptuous. I was amused. We hadn't a clue about misogyny.

We were on the way to a movie. Sometimes, afterwards, we'd ride the ferry to St. Georges Slip on Staten Island. 'Twas a quarter fare at the time and we'd pass the Statue of Liberty. Pretty good! 

Double Standard

Got up to the Pioneer Museum this morning with only an hour to make the circuit. About a quarter of it closed off, I'd have to guess that there were half again as many more structures from the last time I was here about ten years ago. It's changed hands a couple of times since but the approach and theme remain the same. There was no one else there!

The first thing I asked about was when jail breakout was. No longer, the clerk said. "Black powder!" She rolled her eyes. I asked for a brochure (wanted to get several for promotional reasons) but there were none. Got a map. She proceeded to mark it up where people were prohibited. I was unsettled as I'd like to scan and post it for the European folks on Facebook. Took it as is; made a mental note to get another on the way out along with a special parting shot.

Mosean' around, focused on buildings. Occasional implement, pleasant view - critters scurrying about. Got to thinking about someone might enjoy it all but too many interlopers complicating the matter. Had wanted to make a day of going to see the Cardinal scrimmages after a morning constitutional here. She's a pistol alright.

Too much the restrooms where she works. Female accommodations all gussied up with flowers, then they come out and sound like truck drivers. (On second thought, this insults good people. They are reprehensible.) The men's room has a pair of double-locked dispensers with barbed wire condoms in one's face. You exit, after a wash, with nothing but "What idiots!" on your mind. Then, there she is. (Almost feel something.) But she made her choice, choosing travesty over benevolence. What gall, Francesca. Rest assured I'm having a good laugh after the bad hurt... "She's a travestarian."

Could have been an interesting relationship illustrating amor omnia vincit. Adieu.

Waiting on Events

Fool's paradise? Not exactly. But not hungry neither. Another coincidence.
There's something happening I cannot fathom. I can't intrude. I can't skate.

Leave it be. Today, after irrigating, go back to Pioneer Village. Leisurely.
What shoes to wear the major question. Trainers or boots? Not sandals, eh?

Necessary Adventure

With little time to spare, plan was to take some shots here and then go to AZ DOT for the license replacement, which I thought I had done. In skirmish of having to replace other things and call in the new bank number, I'd forgotten there was a hitch with the driver's license; may be somewhere in the house - I don't know. The lightweight shorts have shallow pockets; slippery too. Several times wallet slid out. This particular time, an extensive search was unproductive. So made the online request. Quite a few hoops, right? But does save time from having queque in long lines with newbies.

Didn't happen. Thinking some glitch, had to go to office. Well, I'll be. Never thought about expiration upon 65th birthday. That was it. (Said they should e-mail expirees; who looks at their license? We know who we are.) Got eye test. On my way.

Beforehand, discovered museum closed on Tuesday too!
Took a few on perimeter. Wanted to get brochure and map but office closed. 

No Contest

Finally had brief frank moment with Francesca and spilled the beans a bit. That I'm schizophrenic. I mentioned splitting and defensiveness. I got the impression she knew already. Furthermore that she may know a lot more about me than I her. Is that symptomatic? What I wanted her to know mostly is that it's symptomatic that I may make much more of our passing encounters than she does. I'd certainly like to tell her I'm not one of the boys. We've just not gotten there, there being a quiet place and a comfortable talk. I think they call that intimacy, which, after she later mentioned to someone else that she had a boyfriend, may be impossible. But good to know insofar as the parameters go. Yet being as isolate as I am may compel me to persist if I, how to say, I continue to feel affection. I do not want to be her boyfriend and that's too much for a nascent relationship. (I've got to much on my plate otherwise.) So, be a man; take your medicine.

Did not go into 'ideas of reference' but a good example might be ordering the chicken wings and ruminating about "Wings" as I attempt to achieve elevation after feeling in the dumps since she got so fugging this and that. The 'unladylike' thing. It was goading too, I felt. (Why pick a fight with a devotee?) We had that conversation - told her it evidenced a lack of expressive vocabulary. The ultimate cliche. How to go into how it drives me nuts insofar as insofar goes. How to, in a bloody bar, take on telling her about noble truths and dwelling in the House of The Lord? What are the limits per pub rules?

How indeed. Show her. May lead to an outbreak of bliss.

Not My Affair

What is it when 'friends' whom one visits
do not return the favor nor give a whit?

Unrequited chumship?
What do they take me for?